Many continue to be inspired by Stephanie’s work. Below is a video made by Helen Qi, someone who worked with her at NSCL and when Stephanie returned to Beijing this past decade.
My (her son David) hope is to put some activities or reflective questions here so that those who knew my mother can continue her work in the same spirit.
I am a teacher. After my mother died, I thought about how to engage in my teaching in a purposeful and “value-creating” way. The question I return to is, “what is my commitment to my students?” This has allowed me to reflect on the purpose of my work and the nature of the teacher-student relationship. It has also reminded me that my commitment to my students does not come with exceptions because a student is disengaged or recalcitrant. It is a necessary reminder given how taxing the work can be. To use my mother’s words, it reminds me to forge “I – You” relationships rather than “I – It” ones.
More generally, my mother’s wish was to do work that created value. I asked my father how one knows if one is doing that. He recited the writing On Attaining Buddahood in This Lifetime, highlighting three principles:
– Respect for the dignity of life (the potential of each person, including oneself)
– Inter-connectedness
– Causality – that what we think, do, and say is determinant.
He believes that if we are taking action in thought, word, and deed to advance the dignity of life and honoring our connection to others then we are creating value.
I believe this is how my mother lived. She practiced a form of active meditation that allowed her to reflect on whether her thoughts, words, and deeds were aligned with the principles she believed in. I wish now that I knew what questions she asked herself to ensure that. I think if we find the questions that challenge us to live our values, and make the time to ask ourselves those questions, we will carry on her spirit.